The Real Shinigami
by Funkadelict
Summary: Duo raps to "The Real Slim Shady" about how he is the one true God of Death. My first GW fic, so PLEASE read and review! I hope you like it!


The Real Shinigami

By 7 of 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam…yet…and I don't own Eminem. K? Enjoy!

*Loudspeaker crackles*

Duo: May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? It has come to my notice that there are a number of you claiming to be Shinigami. Now, as many of you know, there can only be ONE God of Death. And that's me, Duo Maxwell. So, will the Real Shinigami please stand up? I repeat, will the Real Shinigami please stand up? …We're gonna have a problem here!

Y'all act like you've never seen a Gundam before!

Jaws all on the floor, like Wufei and Treize just burst in the door,

And started whooping each other's asses worse than before.

Using beam swords, calling each other weak dorks.

It's the daughter of Treize—Aww, wait, no, wait, you're kidding.

She didn't just do what I think she did, did she?

And Doctor J said—nothing, you bakas, Doctor J's dead, he blew up on Libra!

Gundam Fangirls love Maxwell, Chika Chika Shinigami, I'm in love with him.

Look at him, walking around flipping his yard-long braid, slicing at you-know-who.

Yeah, and he's so cute too!

Yeah, I probably got some screws in Deathscythe Hell loose

But no worse than what's going on in Dorothy's bedroom.

Sometimes, I want to get into my Gundam and kill some White Fang

I can't but its okay for Heero to not make Relena hang.

My scythe is in your neck, my scythe is in your neck,

And if you're lucky you'll only go to Heck.

And that's the message we give to the Magunacs

And expect them to not know how to kick ass.

Of course they're gonna know what Oz is by the time they're in battle,

They follow Quatre around, just like cattle!

We ain't nothing but Heroes,

Well, some of us amateurs who get beat up by Leos,

But if we can kill anything above antelopes,

There's no reason why Quatre and Trowa can't elope

But if you feel you're Shinigami, I got the antidote,

I'll slice you into bloody rows…then sing the Chorus, and it goes!

I'm Shinigami, yes, I'm the real Gami.

I make you fakers go crying home to mommy.

So won't the real Shinigami please stand up?

Please stand up, please stand up!

'Cause I'm Shinigami, yes, I'm the real Gami.

I make you fakers go crying home to mommy.

So won't the real Shinigami please stand up?

Please stand up, please stand up!

Heero don't got a Beam Scythe on his Gundam.

Well I do, so f*** him, and f*** Oz too!

You think I give a damn about Wufei?

It's not like he's an important character anyway.

But Shin, what if Oz wins? Wouldn't it suck ass?

I'd rather listen to one of Relena's speeches…I'll pass

I'd have to sit next to Sally's weird hair, she and Hilde better switch me chairs,

So I can sit next to Trowa Barton and Heero Yuy,

And hear them talking about…wait, they don't talk, Aww phooey.

Little Zechs, put a buster rifle in your mouth,

Noin's cute, but she's married to Quatre, that's gotta hurt, ouch!

I should shove his face into a Vulcan Cannon's snout,

And send him for a permanent trip down south.

I'm sick of all you little Romafellers, you merely annoy Shinigami,

So I've been sent here to destroy you!

There's four others who kick ass like me

Who shoot guns like me, who kill Oz soldiers like me,

Who fly like me, who cut, slice, and dice like me,

They might be second best, but there's only one me!

And I'm Shinigami, yes, I'm the real Gami!

I make you fakers go crying home to mommy

So won't the real Shinigami please stand up?

Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Shinigami, yes, I'm the real Gami!

I make you fakers go crying home to mommy

So won't the real Shinigami please stand up?

Please stand up, please stand up?

I'm like a head trip to watch in flight.

'Coz I do things that make normal people shudder in fright.

The only difference is I got the balls to kill y'all,

And I don't gotta be nice or make it painless at all.

I just get in D-Hell and kick ass

And whether you smoke grass, 

I make them pass out better than 90% of you pilots out there.

And they wonder why kids eat up these Mobile Suits

Faster than pandas and bamboo shoots

Its funny, coz at this rate I'm going, when I'm twenty

I'll be the only person in the Sweepers with any

Sense of humor when I pinch Hilde's ass and 

I'm laughing and jackin' off and jerkin and its not workin'

And in the dark you may be working, and you'll see Shinigami lurking.

I'll come for the leader of Romafeller,

Cheating on Lady Une, but too afraid to tell her.

Flying around in Tallgeese II, screaming "I don't give a fuck"

With his guard down and his Cannons up

I'm the real Shinigami, and I'm standing up,

And I'm telling you to put your hands up,

I'll say it one more time, don't waste your breath.

I'm no Great Destroyer, I'm the real God of Death!

Yeah, I'm Shinigami, yes, I'm the real Gami,

I make you fakers go crying home to mommy,

So won't the real Shinigami please stand up? 

Please stand up, please stand up!

'Cause I'm Shinigami, yes, I'm the real Gami,

I make you fakers go crying home to mommy,

So won't the real Shinigami please stand up?

Please stand up, please stand up!

And I'm Shinigami, yes, I'm the real Gami,

I make you fakers go crying home to mommy,

So won't the real Shinigami please stand up?

Please stand up, please stand up!

I'm Shinigami, yeah, I'm the real Gami,

I make you fakers go crying home to mommy,

So won't the real Shinigami please stand up?

Please stand up, please stand up?

I'm the only Shinigami out there, and don't you forget it.

If you stand up, I'll f***ing show you what I mean…


End file.
